That moment when you sit on a carpet on the 15th floor, looking out of a window where you can make out Mount Fuji on clear days, with your jet-lag recovering husband having fallen asleep next to you… That moment would be: now.
Yes, we made it – we are in Japan!
After waiting for this moment so long, it almost feels surreal.
The visa letters (that I wrote about in the last post) were speed-mailed to us immediately and reached South Africa a few days later. Only – they didn´t reach us. Day after day, we went to the post office that the letter was addressed to. Day after day we stood in the queue, finding a bit of relief of the heat wave that struck South Africa in the air conditioned post office, but never finding our letter waiting for us.
Us: “Good morning, maam, we are here to collect our letter (like every day in the last week).”
Friendly Post Lady: “Good morning, have you checked the tracking number online?”
Us: “Yes, we have (every other hour in the last week. Sometimes, when we wake up at night and have to go to the bathroom, we quickly check the tracking number. Just in case something miraculous happened between 22:00 and 23:30.). The international and national system seem to be giving contradicting information. So, we can´t see where the letter is at the moment.”
FPL: “Okay, I will go and check if it arrived here.”
(She goes and returns with a big crate. Manually, she goes through the letters and papers in it, looking for our names on the envelopes. I have to make up my mind that my trust is in God and not in her finding a needle in this haystack of mail.)
FPL: “No, sorry, nothing here. Maybe come back next Monday.”
Us: “Next Monday? (Today is Tuesday! We need to book our flights! We need to get to Japan! We need to…learn how to wait and trust our God…)”
………………………………………………………………………
We went home and tried to not let the discouragement and uncertainty get to us. But it did. We prayed and asked, why didn’t things work out as they should. I wrote long laments in my journal, telling the Lord how urgently I needed to be in Japan. Now!
And he answered me in an unexpected way. I read an article about Generation Y – my generation. The article describes how we grow up feeling really special. Thinking our lives would be filled with greener grass and bigger flowers and more sparkly unicorns than anyone else´s. How we think we are so special that the world just waited for us – and how we get disappointed and sad and confused when we realize that life is difficult and growing grass and flowers (let´s not talk about the unicorns…) takes a lot of hard work and even more time. The world didn´t wait for us and our dreams to save it. We are not so special.
I read these observations and was immediately convicted. Yes, I had started to believe that we were “special” because we went to Japan. That we would be doing things in a new, different, flowers-and-unicorns kind of way. From time to time reality would give my thinking a knock (like now, when waiting for an inexplicably untraceable letter). But mostly, I had believed that I was God´s “special one”: on a “special” mission, with a “special” calling in a “special” country. And therefore I had started to believe that I was entitled to “special” treatment by God. What a lie! What selfishness! What a burden!
Obviously, this doesn´t mean that God never treats me special. Quite the opposite is true. But even more obviously, I never deserve it and never have a right to demand it. In fact, I lost my rights the moment I became His. Now there are only mercies.
Later that day, I read Francis Chan writing in Crazy Love:
“Can you worship a God who isn´t obligated to explain His actions to you? Could it be arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation?”
I realized the audacity of my thinking, confessed and repented. And afterwards, I felt joyful freedom. It wasn´t my burden anymore, whether we would get the letter soon. This wasn´t about me looking good or being impressive – this was about God looking good and being impressive. And I could trust Him to take care of His own glory!
……………………………………………………………………………….
That night, we heard that our letter might still be at the International Mail Centre. We made the 40 minute trip to Johannesburg, cautiously hopeful. When we arrived at the mail centre, our hope almost dwindled. We stood in front of a big warehouse, separated from the public by a big boom and three security guards.
Us: “Hello… We are here to collect our letter (Can you collect letters here?! Don´t you have to be an employee of the post to even get access here?!)”
Friendly Security Guard: “Did you get an SMS?”
Us: “No… (What SMS? How would they have our number?)
FSG: “Let me see your tracking number.”
(The security guard studied our paper and then told us to sit down at the side of the road while he went inside. We sat down on the hot pavement and prayed one more time. Eventually, he came back. I saw from afar that he didn´t carry a letter with him.)
FSG: “They need you to go inside to fetch the letter yourself.”
Us: “Oh…okay. (Does that mean they have the letter?! They have the letter! No, don´t get too excited yet. Maybe…)”
Ten minutes later we left the office with our letter.
Four days later we had our visas.
Six days later we flew to Tokyo.
And now we´re here!
(Random incident at the airport, that doesn´t really fit into the story above, but that´s just too cool to not tell: When we entered the pick-up area, a young Japanese man approached us, asking us if he could speak to us. I – too tired to think on my feet – mechanically let him know “Wakari masen – I don´t understand.”, before I realized that he spoke English. It turned out that he wanted to film us for his TV show “Why did you come to Japan?”
Only having been in the country for about 15 minutes, here was our first chance to witness! Into a TV camera! We explained that we´re with a Christian organisation, heading up North, having a 3 year visa, etc, etc…
His English wasn´t very good (and our Japanese is even worse), so he had to ask his interpreter to explain to him what we were saying. When she reached the part of us being part of a Christian organization, she paused and searched for words. He nodded in response, but there was no spark of understanding or recognition in his eyes. I suppose these are the moments when you realize that you are in an unreached country, when then TV presenter only stares at you with a smile full of question marks when you mention being “Christian”…
To the edge of the Earth 
Wow, great is Thy faithfulness oh LORD.
I am greatful to the LORD for what has done for you and even more excited as to what He is about to do through you. Enjoy His presence. God Bless.
Fiona
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